do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
