remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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