OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
