I don't remember. Are we still dating?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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