God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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