Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
