I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize