Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
