Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
