They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
