I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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