I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
