we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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