what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
