thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How's work?
Spinning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
