Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
