i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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