i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Randomize
