Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
