Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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