i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize