Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize