I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
