i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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