Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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