that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
