how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
