Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
