If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
