she was so not down for the gang bang
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
