What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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