So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
