a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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