Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
