I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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