If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
