Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
