I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize