Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So many bounce houses so little time
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
