You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
