My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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