found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize