she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tell her she can't have a vagina
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize