I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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