I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
