Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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