The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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