Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize