accomplished twins. life is a go
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
