She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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