Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
