How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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