why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
