I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
