Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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