Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize