Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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