so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
