Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
