I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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