apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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